did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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