we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
