I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I need a burrito and a hug.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
