i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How external is "for external use only"?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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