i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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