i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
