Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
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The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
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just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.