I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER