so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.