I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf