Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.