i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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