I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
tell me about the fingering
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