I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I need moral support for this bender
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
