I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
