I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
