Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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