Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I want to be your penis for a week.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
