I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
