Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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