I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If I die, sorry about rent.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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