i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize