you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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