they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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