Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
