I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize