Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
