We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
