I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize