Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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