My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
