Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
