Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
