Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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