first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
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I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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