idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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