I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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