Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
