i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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