We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
