I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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