Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
