Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
