It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
