You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
