Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
