YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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