wat bout pragnant strippers??
barbara walters just said penis...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
