I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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