I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize