you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
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remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out