Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Ladies don't puke and tell