didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon