normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"