all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
