Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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