Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How does one acquire holy water?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
