I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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