My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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