You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
