There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
