wat bout pragnant strippers??
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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