So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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