I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
