Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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