Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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