Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
